Tell me.

I have lost the ability to control my manic behavior.
I seem to be going over the top lately.
I’ve pushed everyone away.

Hiding behind broken bones, hiding from myself
hiding from my need
ashamed of it all.

I never tell anyone the full truth.
I never can seem to find words big enough
to cover it all.
I see confusion, disgust and I retreat.


There are only a few people that know
that if they tell me, not ask, but tell me what
they want, they’ll get it.

and there’s only one or two that actually will…

I’m lost and lots of things.
The self-destructive selfish bitch keeps
beating down the rest of them inside me.
We’re going to end up
fucked

Crazy white girl
little girl
pet
whore
slut cunt cumhole
Mother
wife
ugly bitch


There are things, put here, that are just fleeting. There are things that seem ugly and I embrace them. There are things that sound sad, that I take pride in. I'm a good girl.

I know I’m the crazy white girl. I know that my moods swing violently. I know that my fleeting thoughts and feelings make me a scattered mess.
I know that I am good at this. I know that I am everything above and none of it too.
I am whoever you want me to be. I am your pool of water with no cup. I am your end of the rainbow.

What’s real?
Why dont i get a cock inside of me with my hair pulled back hard?