Dumping Ground

When’s it OK just to be me
without apologizing
and will I be alone afterward?

We’re breathing and not taking enough in
We’re hiding
and holding hands
tentatively
too much, too dangerous, too real
We feel

what made me crazy?
What made me need
What made me this ugly
and diseased?

I only have my eyes
to see through
and it’s cloudy

It was so perfect
till I ruined it all
not able to control myself
my mouth
my head my crazy my life my broken

Can you help me disappear?

You had all these grand plans
and knowledge of history.
You had all these should and could.
You had all this deserve built inside of you
I didn’t know my way through it

You had all this excitement
and flashes in your eyes
You had desires and woven plans
You had need and I was lost and scared
always lost and scared

My eye twitches now
when I think about what I threw away
and still I know
It was the only thing I could do
Your presumption of my greatness
made me do it

I run away, silently without looking back
just to open my legs for someone to fill me up
slide down to my knees to find somewhere to fit

I'm not the crazy one
When’s it OK just to be me
without saying sorry?

I’m never who you think I am
even if I have to change myself
I won’t be exposed to you
I can’t take that chance
I won’t take that chance, I’ve rebuilt my walls.

When’s it OK just to be me
without apologizing
and will I be alone afterward?