self destructive
self disruptive

I am not a good girl today. There is nothing I’ve done that’s bad.

That feeling that creeps into a smile and lets my head fall back just a little. I look down my nose at you and study you till you’re uncomfortable. Then I smile and say nothing to you and talk to your friend who is looking at a more attractive, more vacant girl.
I get up to get another drink and you make eye contact with me. I bring us both back one and you smile like it’s your birthday.

It’s too easy.

We are all broken hearted, wishing on the reversal of time or fortune. We are all dreaming of the greener grass pie in the sky and drinking away the rest. I pick rum, but I’ll take what you’ve got. If I cant be good, I might as well be fun. If I cant get rid of the urges, I might as well bow down to them, right?

Should do this and should do that… good and bad
right and wrong
judgment


feel the walls closing in, self made insanity, tame the beast and make it stronger. it’s a hunger that burns. Feed me to your friends, share the wealth….

I don’t want your insecurities. I don’t want your inabilities. Take it or move along.
Push me and watch me go cold. Push me up against the wall and fuck me angry with your hands around me neck. I will fight back and you’ll hold me there till I cant fight anymore, ok?


Ok?