Smash

take me somewhere
abandoned and forgotten
and let me live with you
like today is the end

I’ve got to just let it go and stop pretending I know what I’m doing. I’ve got to realize (again and again till I remember it forever) that I am good and calm. I have got to see that there is more under there and I keep it hiding. I’ve got to ignore the funny looks people give me. I’ve got to try harder. I’ve got to stop trying.

we will sit through
sunset without windows
and broken chairs
and hope the light returns

I’m constantly deciding and putting my foot down on small nothings. I’ve stopped the light out of most things. I’m tired of deciding. I’m tired of holding it up for fear of the fall.

and you will let me cling
and whisper and build fires
where dining tables
should be

I need and want and ache and cry and scream and don’t really, out loud. It’s all behind the screen. It’s all underneath and I want to go home, my real home that doesn’t exist anymore. We can never go back twenty years.

We will sleep
and you will remember my heart
and revive it again
in the morning

I’ll be your baby girl. I’ll be your heart and hope and inspiration. I’ll give you it all, I will. please